Later Life

For many women, this is a period of both loss and liberation, where priorities shift, identities evolve, and wisdom deepens.

At Una Psychology, we understand that later life (typically around ages 60 and beyond) is a time of profound transition — physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually.  We know that it’s never too late to make sense of your life experiences and change patterns in order to maximise joy and fulfilment.  We offer an integrated approach that includes the following areas:

  • Adjustment to physical changes: You may have had to confront changes to your health in terms of your mobility, strength, and energy levels which may challenge your independence and self-image.  You may be struggling with a chronic condition or any ongoing impacts from the menopause.  Accepting and adapting to these changes can be emotionally difficult especially for women used to caregiving or high energy levels.  
  • Pacing:  Learning to ‘listen’ to your body’s changing needs and limits can require intentional negotiation.  If you are used to coping with any emotional pain by ‘over busying’ or distracting yourself, you may be reluctant to reduce the pace of your life to allow space for reflection but experience cycles of exhaustion, low mood and/ or illness.  If you are used to prioritising others’ needs above your own, you may struggle to say ‘no’ to requests to help out or feel ‘put upon’ or resentful of others who expect you to do too much.  If you have been fiercely independent, you may be concerned about becoming a “burden” or “dependent” on others which may be causing you anxiety.
  • Integrating the Past and Finding Peace in the Present: It is understandable as our lives change to want to make sense of our life story, experiences, achievements, regrets and impact on those/ the world around us.  For those who may have not had the time, space or ‘luxury’ to previously turn towards painful or traumatic experiences from earlier on in life, this can be a painful and overwhelming process. 
  • Losing Your Partner: Losing your partner is one of the most significant and stressful life-events we can experience.  If this loss was unexpected and sudden, you may be struggling to make sense of what has happened to you and thrust into a life you never anticipated.  This may come with many practical as well as emotional challenges and you may feel the loss of your special person very acutely. 
  • Grieving and adjusting:  If your partner died after a prolonged period of illness, you may be experiencing mixed or complicated emotions:  relief that they are no longer suffering; distress that they suffered in the way they did; feelings of anger if you perceive they did not get the right medical treatment or emotional support during their end of life or a sense that you can reclaim more time, space and joy for yourself if you have been managing caring responsibilities for a long time.  Your emotions may also be complicated by the type relationship you had with this person and you may be struggling with complicated feelings of guilt, sadness or anger towards them still.   None of these experiences reflects badly on you and all are understandable reactions to the multi-faceted nature of our relationships and experiences that arise in the grieving process.
  • Empty nest and distance: You may be struggling with negotiating how you fit into the changing dynamics within your family.  If your adult children and/ or grandchildren live far away you may experience feelings of loneliness or isolation compared with friends whose families live closer by and who have regular involvement.  
  • Friendship networks: You may have relocated to a new area and be struggling to establish a new social circle. Your established social network may have changed or shrunk due to your friends relocating, travelling, retiring or sadly dying. 
  • Loneliness:  People can feel lonely at any age and research demonstrates the adverse impact it can have on our mental and physical well-being (even on our cardio-vascular system!).  If being able to meet people is compounded by physical health difficulties or caring for an ailing partner, this can add an additional layer of complexity and contribute to gradual social isolation.  As mammals, we are not supposed to feel (or be) alone.  If you have always found it difficult to make friends, socialise or trust people you may default to accepting that you will always be on the outside even though this isn’t what you really need or want.
  • Retirement transition: Whether you have chosen or your health has necessitated it, retirement can ‘look like’ different things to different people.  Depending on the type of work you have done or the career you have had, you may have a gradual ‘letting go’ of your work responsibilities or a final end to your employment.  Leaving work can bring relief and rest, but also loss of structure, purpose, or identity.  It may require spending unprecedented amounts of time with your partner whose idea of retirement might ‘look’ very different to yours.  Depending upon your confidence in expressing your feelings and negotiating your needs, this can be a challenging (and hopefully rewarding) time.
  • Rediscovering purpose: It is healthy for us at any age to feel a sense of purpose with our wider community, however we define this.  If your life has been scaffolded by the structure of work, you may benefit from exploring how you might contribute in a meaningful way to those around you.  This might involve creatively exploring a new area of interest, activity or engaging with a new group of people.  If you have struggled with change, low-self esteem, anxiety or low mood throughout your life, you may be holding yourself back from experiencing a sense of fulfilment this life stage can offer.
  • Spirituality: Whether you are religious or not, our connection to each other, the natural world and the universality of the human experience can provide a source for rich spiritual reflection.  Many women find comfort and meaning in ways that feel deeply personal and profound.  The awareness of our lives being transient can contribute to renewed gratitude.  However, this may be a difficult process for many, particularly if you have longstanding feelings of disappointment, regret or feeling deprived in life.

If you are feeling restricted by the challenges of later life, we at Una Psychology can support you in expanding your sense of meaning, vitality and purpose.  This may require you to ‘look back’ at patterns that are no longer serving you and, with support, make necessary changes in order to live to the fullest, whatever this may mean for you now.  We appreciate that all lives collect a mixture of joyous and painful experiences.  Sometimes professional support can help make sense of an event or theme so you can ‘wipe away’ the residue of any unhelpful learning or unwarranted emotions that may be holding you back.  We at Una Psychology see ageing as growth and empowerment not diminishment and are ready to take the next steps alongside you.  If you are interested, do get in touch.

Antonella & Rachel
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